Anya's road toself-respect

One Story of Self-Respect: First Love Yourself

Three months ago she felt hopeless, lonely, and paralyzed with fear. Today, she’s filled with self-respect. She’s excited, hopeful, and motivated about life. 

Anya lives in Florida. Just one look at her at you can tell she’s exceptional. She’s a gorgeous, intelligent, stellar athlete, and single mom to four kids. Yet, one guy’s words and attitude crushed her game. 

“I poured three years into someone I should have let go in the first month. Being with him and giving all of myself to someone who did not believe in me, left me feeling worthless; nothing I did was good enough. It left me questioning everything I believed to be true about myself.” She confesses, “It took me into a deep depression.”

Criticism and Disparagement is Hard to Shake Off

Unfortunately, those ruts are hard to dig yourself out of. In part, because we listen to others rather than our inner wisdom. Helping people to shut out the garbage and negativity and tune in to their own voices is one goal of my First Love Yourself workshops.

Despite the deep depression that her former boyfriend put her in, Anya had a head start on others. She had lifted herself up before to start her own business as a personal trainer. And, she’s relentless about being the best she can be — in the gym and as a mom. But that doesn’t always translate to self-care and a healthy daily dose of self-respect.

Anya witnessed dramatic positive physical transformations in her own body and those of her clients. Yet the professional fitness coach let the constant negativity and derisions from the man in her life enter her psyche. 

“I was embarrassed of myself. Ashamed.” She adds, “I started to believe him. I didn’t know who I was anymore, and I had no idea who I was supposed to be. I didn’t realize the control he had over the moves I made in my life until months after we broke up.”

However, even if we manage to shut out the negativity and/or verbal abuse of others, triggers bring them back front and center. That’s why I recommend affirmations to boost self-respect and positive thinking. Not just daily, but throughout the day. Stuck to your mirror. In your car. On your nightstand. See them. Say them. Most important, believe them to overpower any lingering or rebounding unhealthy messages.

Affirmations, Spiritual and Self-Respect Books Helped Anya

Anya realized the impact of her thoughts and the power of her words.

“I still have to give myself little pep talks every single day.” Part of her routine includes affirmations like the following. Yes, I AM good enough. I CAN continue to do this. No, I won’t let this beautiful life pass me by.

“It works both ways. Manifestation is real and thoughts are powerful. I have manifested all of the negative things that I was afraid of simply because I was so focused on them for so long. It suddenly clicked. I needed to rewire my brain for gratitude and abundance. So, I keep a manifestation journey that I write in before bed at night. 

“I write myself motivational notes and I leave them everywhere!! I talk to my kids about manifestation all the time.” She explains, “I want them to understand this power from a young age. One of my favorite things to tell them is that ‘only YOU have the power to chose how you respond to a situation. No one can make you do anything.’  I also tell them not to talk about themselves negatively. Nothing makes me angrier.” 

Her self-respect realizations are echoed in several of my recent Virtual Book Club chats about manifesting and self-love. Two New World Library books I selected were “Permission Granted” by Regina Louise and Kate Eckman’s “The Full Spirit Workout.” Both authors are stunningly attractive, brilliant, successful women. Yet, they listened to the fault-finding of others.

Acknowledge Every Step You Make

Fortunately, Anya already discovered what’s taken some of us much longer to learn. She recognizes how far she’s come.

“I was depressed and I was grieving a failed relationship. My confidence was zero and my mental instability was at its highest level. Today, I’m celebrating my courage. I’m celebrating me because I’ve been so hard on myself. I haven’t given myself enough credit for all little changes that have landed me here today.”

“I feel brighter days ahead, and although I still have those moments of doubt, I’m rewiring my brain for success. Every day is a new opportunity to improve and grow.”

Anya’s Tips to Self-Respect and Overcoming the Doldrums 

Anya finds it helpful to get close to nature to boost her spirits. Or, soaking up the love of her kids. 

“I believe my youngest son is a gift. They all are, but he has the most magical hugs and he always seems to intuitively know when I’m sad or feeling a little down. If he thinks I’m going to be sad about something, he goes out of his way to put a smile on my face.”

Following are several books and authors that have lifted Anya’s spirits.

No Enemies Within” by Dawna Markova

Waking up in 5D,” by Maureen St. Germain

Quantum Love” by Laura Berman
Searching for Light” by Carol Heideman

A New Earth” and “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle 

My Tips to First Love Yourself (FLY)

Interestingly enough, the last of her suggested titles was one of the first selections in my original Yoga Book Club that morphed into my current IGTV and Facebook Live weekly Virtual Book Club. 

Several years ago I created my therapeutic First Love Yourself workshops. Bothered by all the non-substantive attention given Valentine’s Day, I designed sessions to focus on self-respect. Just as I prefer to celebrate Thanksgiving with a daily gratitude practice, I encourage a re-thinking of Valentine’s Day. Moreover, I encourage everyone to tap into the energy of partner love and nourish themselves with it daily. 

Remember. Respect yourself. Contact me for information on my workshops. Or, request your free PDF of my favorite FLY affirmations. 

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